This is a guest post from one of my online Sober Sisters, Michelle Caron. I see hundreds of posts on my FB and IG groups daily. This one, however, was so wonderfully en pointe with what true recovery sounds like…that I could not help but share it through a post.
Thank you Michelle, for this simple and beautiful description of your journey.
“If I always did what I felt like, I would’ve never gotten sober. I always felt like drinking. Bad day? Drink to forget about it! Good day? Drink to celebrate it! Irritable and anxious? Drink to calm down! Happy? Drink to feel even happier! Sad? Drink to feel better! Drink, drink, drink for ALL the reasons.
Except drinking NEVER made anything better. When I drank on a good, happy day to celebrate, it ruined everything. When I drank to calm my anxiety or to make me feel happy when I was sad, it just made me feel depressed and anxiety-ridden. But I always FELT like drinking.
I knew for a long time before I got sober that I was going to have to do some scary, uncomfortable shit in order to quit drinking. I did NOT want to go back to AA. I did NOT want to tell my husband I had been lying to him about my drinking for the entire 7 years of our relationship. He could’ve easily left me when I told him the truth. I also didn’t want to have to get sober when I knew he would keep drinking. But I HAD to do these things in order to get sober. My life depended on it.
And the bad news is, I STILL have to do things I don’t feel like doing to STAY sober!
I have to set boundaries and say no to people, places, and things that aren’t good for my sobriety. I have to go to meetings even on days I don’t really feel like it. (Luckily for me, I almost always feel like going to meetings because I love them so much!) I have to pick up the phone and ask for help when I’m struggling, even though it weighs 1,000 pounds!
I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The good news is–taking all of the uncomfortable actions I don’t feel like taking is what keeps me sober. And those actions DO produce the motivation to stay sober. There is a shift that occurs in sobriety. We go from the mindset of “I HAVE to stay sober” to “I GET to stay sober!” Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes it happens slowly. But it only happens after we take the necessary actions to get and stay sober. We’ve got to work for it. We’ve got to fight like our lives depend on it. Because they do.
It’s not always easy, but it’s ALWAYS worth it! And WE are ALWAYS worth it!”
*** Amen, Sister. Keep on rocking it. Sober Mami::